Standing in the Center of the World’s Pain

Earlier this week a friend posted sarcastically on their timeline, “I guess that’s just my cross to bear.” I cringed a little when I read it. Of course, they didn’t mean it literally, that having to do this one task was taking on the suffering of the whole world. It was funny given the situation, and I love sarcasm as much as anyone.

But this one phrase, “my cross to bear,” has been used far too often by people who believe it, and accept a situation that can’t be changed, by bearing with it in patience and perseverance. I’ve heard people say, “It’s my cross to bear” after being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Parenting a child with disabilities, living in poverty or experiencing job loss or any other situation of unjust suffering have been minimized by this common expression of “bearing one’s cross.”

Worse yet, though, is the countless times this phrase has been used to keep people in their place, told by others in authority that they must endure the suffering, because it's the Christian way to think of others first, deny ourselves, and endure whatever situation life gives us.

One of the first things I learned during training to work with women who experience domestic violence is that it is often the pastor or priest who tells the woman to go home, return to the abuser because it is her cross to bear. Thankfully, as more women, people of color and LGBTQ become theological leaders there are now significant challenges to that dangerous theology in our church. There are still far too many people, clergy and lay, who see suffering as something that God gives us as a gift to show how faithful we are to God, by gladly taking up a cross of suffering and shame for the glory of God.

It’s time for a new reckoning with this biblical text. What does Jesus mean when he says, any who want to become my followers (even you Peter) must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me?

Peter had just proclaimed that Jesus was the one they’d been waiting for, the promised Messiah, the one who would help them break free from the oppressive Roman empire. But when Jesus tells them that he must suffer, be rejected by the leaders and die, Peter doesn’t want to hear it. He tells Jesus, “No! We have bigger plans; you're going to save us from the oppressive systems that have been crushing God’s people here on earth. Why do you talk about more suffering?”

It’s then, after Peter proclaims him the Messiah, after Jesus says he will suffer, die and rise again, after Peter says no way that’s not what a messiah does and after Jesus says get behind me, it’s then that Jesus tells the people, if you really want to follow me, then this is what it means, “Deny yourselves, take up your cross, follow me. Lose your life for my sake and for the good news of God made known in my suffering and rising.”

To take up the cross as Jesus did is to stand in the center of the world’s pain. Taking up the cross means recognizing Christ crucified in every suffering person around us and pouring our energies and our lives into alleviating that pain, no matter what it costs.

The call of this week’s passage, I think, is to be willing to embrace the pain of others, rather than try to explain it, or simply comfort it and fit it into some larger plan. The call to deny self and take up the cross is to trust that God is in the midst of our brokenness, working for and calling us to life.

Preacher and teacher David Lose, put it this way, “I have been struck over my years of ministry that perhaps the one thing that unifies us most fully is that each of us has experienced brokenness: it may be the abandonment of a parent, the betrayal of a loved one, the loss of a child, the death of a dream, the oppression of those who hold power over us, or any number of other things. Yet this fact remains: to live is to struggle, to hurt, and to experience loss and brokenness.”

We are called to take up the cross and expect that God is fully present in the suffering and brokenness of the world. We are called to take up the cross and be honest about our brokenness and demonstrate our willingness to enter into the brokenness of others. We are called to take up the cross because we follow the One who not only took up his cross, but also revealed that nothing in this world, not even the hate and darkness and death can defeat the love and light and life of God.

When we embrace each other's brokenness with honesty and vulnerability, we experience God calling us to new life. We experience resurrection. Resurrection is experienced when we believe the person who shares their story of sexual assault and stand with them as they seek fair treatment and renewed life. Resurrection is experienced as we acknowledge the painful systems of race, sex and class that oppress, and work with the ones who are suffering toward redemptive and justice-filled solutions. Resurrection is experienced when we hold vigil with someone who is sick or experiencing dementia or near death's door and assure them God did not cause their suffering but holds them gently in the midst of it.

The cross is not our burden to bear but is the way of sharing the good news. Carrying the cross is not about patiently enduring suffering. It is not about abuse or oppression of any kind. God’s work of costly grace is to be with us and to bring life to the world. The good news is that through the cross of Christ, life can and does break forth. Even in the midst of death, God brings life, transformation, and healing for us and for the whole world.