Though Mary is considered the most famous woman in history, for centuries she has been demoted in most Protestant churches. Mary is for Orthodox and Roman Catholics, after all. Jesus only, Protestants says. In fact, until the late 1970s our Lutheran calendar had commemorations for all the male disciples and for Saint Paul. But no feast days for Mary or Mary Magdalene!

God is with us in the chaos. God is with us when the boat is rocking and everything seems out of control. God is with us when we cannot see the shoreline and when the future is uncertain. God is with us when we are afraid and feel alone. 

So when I heard stories like this one and was told that faith meant keeping my eyes on Jesus, I sometimes wondered if I was simply a bad Christian. Other people seemed to be able to focus, why couldn't I? I thought maybe I didn't have enough faith or maybe other people were just trying harder than I was.

How are you feeling? I really dislike that question, especially when my therapist asks it. I learned pretty quickly in therapy that an acceptable answer is not, “good” or “I’m fine.” Good is not a feeling, he tells me. A better question is what are you feeling, can you name the emotion? “No! I can’t,” I sometimes stubbornly respond. But most of the time I just say, “I don’t know.”