Are You Related?
Pr. Craig Mueller
Are You Related?
Are you related? You have the same last name as I do. Are we related?
We each have our own stories of people to whom we are related—our relatives. For example, I only have 14 great-great grandparents, not the usual 16. Which means I had grandparents who were cousins. My parents are second cousins, then. And I playfully add, my brother and I are third cousins!
Today’s scriptures are difficult. Though they hold up the gift of relationships—especially marriage and how we relate to creation—there are also some zingers that seem archaic, hurtful, or simply irrelevant.
Take the wonderful story about the creation of animals and birds, and the man giving names to them all, but needing a partner—bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. So God performs nocturnal surgery on the man, creating a woman from his ribs. In an age when we value mutuality and equality in relationships, this seems to reinforce patriarchy. Certainly, one gets the sense that marriage is divinely instituted. And that God desires that we are not alone. But what about single people? People who wish they were married, but aren’t? People unhappily married? Same-gender couples? People who face deep loneliness alone, online, or in a crowd? How are we related to this text?
Psalm 8 talks about human beings having dominion over all creation. Over the centuries this text has been abused. Rather than exercising stewardship of the earth, we have acted as if natural resources, the environment, birds and animals, are there for our benefit alone. How are we related to this text?
Then there’s the gospel about divorce. One of the hardest passages to read aloud in church. One woman told toward her pastor, after hearing it, that she felt like garbage had been dumped on her. Like the “lopping off limbs” gospel last week, we hear the shock, the negative, the judgement, and miss any good news or deeper meaning.
These difficult texts remind us how challenging it is to read the Bible as the Word of God in a context so far removed from its original setting. In biblical times, women and children were seen as property. The family was about economics. There was no such thing as finding a soul mate in marriage. Or sexual orientation as something given rather than an abomination. How many wives have been counseled to stay in abusive relationships because of Jesus’ words about divorce?
Some scholars point out, though, that Jesus is a bit of a feminist, not allowing only men to divorce their wives because of burnt toast. Or reminding us that other books in the Bible have different takes on marriage and divorce. Or suggesting that though human relationships fail, God’s intent is for us to take seriously our vows and commitments. Or perhaps most helpful, noting that follows the divorce passage is Jesus blessing children, also seen as vulnerable in his time. Jesus is always for those weakest in society.
Are we related to these texts? Do we relate to them? As a preacher, I can’t brush away the hurt, anger, guilt, confusion, or other strong reactions we have to some of these words. Perhaps all we can do is set them next to larger guiding principles of our faith. Such as this: the Spirit continues to speak to us today in new ways. No one enters marriage expecting or hoping for divorce. But sometimes it is the better path for healing. Women now hold positions of authority in nearly all professions, including ministry. And in the past decade, same-gender couples have been given the right to marry.
Are we related? Perhaps that is the best question for the day. Some of you know the African philosophy of “ubuntu.” It means humanity, or better yet, “I am because we are.” We are all connected. Think back to the Genesis text in which humanity is created from the dark earth, a reference one scholar notes that makes her think of black and brown-skinned people.
We are related. We are one with the earth. We are one with the plants and animals—including the pets in our home. All creatures great and small, especially and sadly those named as extinct in the past week’s news, as extinct. Saint Francis thought of creation as kin, as family. Mother earth. Brother sun. Sister moon. Christians go so far to proclaim a Triune God who is relational by its—or shall we say—their very nature.
We are related. It may seem a cliché to say that human beings are made of stardust. Yet research shows that humans and their galaxy have about 97 percent of the same kind of atoms. And we are meant to be in relationship—to relate to one another, to the earth, to creation. Though we all face loneliness from time to time, the drive to be in relationship seems to be wired in us. To be in community. To find our identity as spouses, lovers, friends, colleagues, parents, children, relatives. God desires that we not be alone. And despite the failings and hurts that we experience in relationships of all kinds, they are the greatest sign of God’s grace in our lives.
HTLoop: You, the HTLoop community, are also reflecting on your relationship to one another, to HTLakeview, to Grace Place, to the South Loop community. You are gently holding the loss of Pastor Ben, as well as your hopes and dreams for the future. This time of transition has stirred up a variety of feelings, all understandable. Add the uncertainty that most churches are facing due to the pandemic and the widespread decline in religious participation. We are in a holy time of discernment. How are we related? What is HTLoop called to be in this time and in this place? You are not alone. God is with you in this journey. Grace Place, HTLakeview, the Metropolitan Chicago Synod, and others hold you close in our hearts and in prayer.
I may not be your blood relative or a third cousin. But we are related even despite the deep divisions in our country. We are related to a vast humanity and the stars in the sky. And the wonderful diversity of animals and plants on this orb floating through space. So let’s bless children and pets and plants and people and families in all kinds of life-giving relationships. For through God’s grace and mercy, they are all blessed kin.
